I just read a comment from Ashley on Cameron’s blog where she mentioned that my blog was MIA. This caught me a little off guard, since I blog a lot. No one ever comments on any of my most recent blogs; this is kind of strange since I am a little provocative. I decided to check my blog on another computer with a different browser, and sure enough none of my latest posts were showing. I think my blog has either been a victim of identity theft or it was possessed by evil spirits, because now everything I wrote is missing. I updated my account and password and everything is working now. Anyway, those of you who think your blog is a good substitute for a journal let my experience stand as a solemn reminder that the devil and hackers have the ability to control computers. When I was on my mission, a lady that was having a problem with possession by evil spirits went into the genealogy library. As soon as she entered the room, the computers crashed and a lot of genealogy work was lost. It would probably be a good idea to never publicly announce that your blog is serving the purpose of family history. It probably wouldn’t hurt to post mild pictures of people with no clothes (I was going to say the scientific word for this, but figured I might get some racy google ads) or swear words every now and then to trick the devil into thinking that your blog is serving his purposes rather than the Lord’s. Anyway, I am now going to move on to the planned topic for today’s post: why I should be the leader of the National Security Agency. This post will hopefully capture Blogdor’s imagination.

I should lead the NSA, because I would be awesome at it. In Thomas Friedman’s book The World is Flat, he says that the reason we got hit on September 11 was because we didn’t have anyone that could have imagined it to help us prevent it. We need people like myself with superior imaginations to plan, stage, and then evaluate simulated terrorist attack drills that will be conducted by the NSA.

For example, I would train a fake terrorist cell to plant fake roadside bombs on the sides of hundreds of American freeways. These would be bombs that would explode like silly string or water or something harmless. The objective of the terrorist cell would be to conduct a coordinated attack where hundreds of these bombs go off simultaneously. I would also offer a cash reward to any citizens who manage to prevent the attacks from happening. If the attack is successfully conducted everyone in the country would have to pay a we’re-too-stupid-to-notice-someone-planting-bombs-on-the-side-of-our-freeways tax of $100.

A plan like this would have several benefits:
1. It would encourage practical vigilance among citizens.
2. It would take away the wow factor of an actual similar attack, therefore diminishing the possibility that it would really happen since the wow factor is the main purpose for a terrorist attack.
3. It would empower Americans to protect themselves rather than rely on the government.
4. It would give politicians another means to tax stupidity other than gambling.

Here are some more scenarios that would be good to simulate:

-Remember earthquake drills and fire drills in elementary school. How about your school gets highjacked by masked squirtgunmen.
-Someone armed with paintballs starts shooting up people in a shopping center.
-Have fake agents traffic contraband materials over the border.
-Have a cell plant some kind of fake bomb at a dam. If they succeed, everyone that lives downstream has to sit in a dunk tank.

Anyway, don’t expect any of these great ideas to ever happen even though it would be just what the doctor ordered.