Followers of this blog know that I am a big fan of radical activism.  It is no surprise that I am therefore a big fan of the new show on Animal Planet called Whale Wars.  At first one might think that this show might be like a glorified version of a cockfight, where you watch sperm whales fight against killer whales.  Unfortunately, it is about a group of mostly Canadian and Australian animal rights activists who wander around the Antarctic oceans in search of Japanese whaling ships.  When they find Japanese whaling ships, a bunch of hooligan activists jump in a zodiac boat and go throw bottles of rancid butter onto the decks of the ships.  Sometimes they sneak onto the whaling ships, put a bag of burning dog crap outside the door, knock, and run away.

Where I agree that we need to stop the Japanese from whaling, I also believe that chasing them around in zodiac rafts and throwing rancid butter at them is pretty stupid.  However, it does make for some good t.v.  After all, if we don’t stop the Japanese from whaling what will be our back-up plan for when we run out of oil.  However, like all radical activist, the crew of the Steve Irwin (yep that’s their boat) pick pretty weak targets.  If Animal Planet wants to see their ratings go through the roof, they should send these noble activists to try and deter killer whales from eating the babies of gray whales.  The show also might be a little irrelevant since the following video seems to be evidence that the whales are taking things into their own hands, or flippers.  The voice on this video definitely sounds Japanese:

Anyway, since this turns out to be a pretty good t.v. show in that it points out how stupid environmental activists can be, I figured why not translate the same formula into other shows.  For example, wouldn’t Man vs. Wild be much better if animal rights activists were sent to follow Bear Grylls and try to scare away the animals that he captures for food?  Not only would we see if Bear Grylls can outwit nature, he would need to outwit the ideologues first before he could capture animals and eat them.  If I were an advertiser, I would pay big bucks to promote a show where Steve Irwin’s Second-Mate, Peter Hammarstedt pairs off against Bear Grylls in various ecosystems in a Darwinistic duel.  Will Bear Grylls be able to ensnare Peter, so that he can have his way eating the wildlife in the area, or will the wily Hammarstedt occupy Grylls with his activist tactics and save the unsuspecting fauna from being devoured?

Peter Hammarstedt

Bear Grylls

To see a killer whale training camp, watch the following video: